The poem inspired by the joke:

Don't Drink Bees

Please, oh please
Don’t drink bees
They’ll tickle your throat
And make you wheeze
And after that
Perhaps a sneeze
Wheeze & sneeze, wheeze & sneeze
Please, oh please
Don’t drink those bees

Please, oh no
Do not eat stones
They’re not nutritious
Won’t build strong bones
Might chip a tooth
And make you moan
Moan, moan, moan, moan
So, please, oh please
Do not eat stones

Don’t wear your watch
Upon your toes
That isn’t where
A clock should go
You’ll check the time
And kick your nose
Ouch-y nose, ouch-y nose
Please don’t wear watches
On your toes

And don’t wear shoes
Upon your ears
When called to eat
You will not hear
Your tummy will grumble
“There’s no food here!”
Hear, hear, hear, HEAR!
So please
No shoes upon the ears

Please don’t wash
Your hair with bread
It will leave crumbs
Upon your head
That’s not the way
Brains should be fed
Crumb-y head, Crumb-y head
Please don’t wash
Your hair with bread

Please don’t clean
Your face with glue
You want that dirt
To really shoo
And not always to
Be stuck on you
Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo!
Please don’t ever
Clean with glue

Please don’t brush
Your teeth with Brie
Cheddar, Swiss
Or any cheese!
To clean food from
Between your teeth
Don’t use another
Thing to eat!
Eat cheese, eat cheese
But please don’t brush
Your teeth with cheese

Please don’t sleep
With your pet fish
Your sheets will be soggy
And they’ll go squish
And he’d rather sleep
In his watery dish
Squish, squish, squish, squish
It’s not a good plan
To sleep with fish

Please remember
These wise words
Even if they’re
Quite absurd
Better to be safe
I think
Than have a bee
For a drink
Remember all these
Lessons please
Oh, yes, remember
Don’t drink bees

At the time I chose the name for the website, I worked with an incredibly creative and talented woman named Sara Bost. I asked her to design a logo for the site, and she came up with several amazing designs. I finally settled on this one:

don't drink bees logo

You can see Sara's portfolio online at:

The name "Don't Drink Bees" comes from a joke between my nephew Nathaniel and myself.

One day, I was finishing off a glass of water. Nathaniel placed one of his favorite toys, a bee, in my empty glass. I said, "No, we shouldn't drink bees! They'll tickle in the throat." He thought this was hysterical "advice."

And since this website is for sharing other incredibly profound words of mine, I thought the name was appropriate - and hopefully catchy. ;-)

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Lisa J. Parker's writing and creative works including poems, books, short stories, essays, movies, greeting graphics, and photographs.


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