Don't Drink Bees

Hawk:

Vulture,
Your flying is quite graceful
You've been mistaken for a hawk
But when you land upon the ground
Differences become quite stark

Could you stand a little straighter?
Hold your head up, tilt it back?
Eat in trees, not on the highway?
Wear cologne - maybe a hat?

I have many more suggestions
On how to dress and fly and sit
I run a lovely school for birds
On the subject: etiquette
Take a class or two
I think you'd really benefit

Vulture:

Hawk,
It's nice you take an interest
In how I perch and stand and eat
And your compliments on flying
Have been a special treat

I suppose that I could change
To please you birds of prey
Balance stones upon my head
And wear a nice beret

Learn to use the proper fork
At my highway picnics
Your school could really help me
In joining all the right bird cliques
And the greatest benefit of all
My charm school certificate

Hawk:

Vulture,
We'll be delighted to have you
Here's a form to sign up
You'll be amazed by the results
They'll be sure you're a hawk

Vulture:

Hawk?
And that's exactly why
My friend, I cannot enroll
For being something that I'm not
Has never been my goal

So, I thank you for your offer
And I appreciate your horror
That someone could confuse
A refined hawk with a vulture

But I will continue soaring
In my unique vulture way
And if someone should confuse me
For a lovely bird of prey
I'll try not to feel insulted
By the mistake that is made

That shouldn't be so difficult
To let that error go
Because – who and what I am
These things, I – a vulture – know