An average couple (names in credits will be husband #1 and wife #1) sit before their iMac (product placement) watching reruns of The Daily Show (Jon Stewart appears as himself).
The wife is listening to the fake news show, but her eyes aren't on the computer monitor. We pan right to see a television, sound muted, multicolored radar map on the screen and words scrolling: Severe thunderstorm warning for the following counties... Tornado warning for the following counties ... until 8:30 pm. Flood watch...)
Wife appears nervous. She pauses The Daily Show and points to the TV. Husband unmutes the television special weather report.
Wife: Is the tornado warning in our county? Doesn't that mean we should be seeking cover now?
Thunder begins rumbling in the distance.
Wife: How far away is the storm? Can it really get here in the next 15 minutes?
Wife pulls up Google Maps (product placement) and checks distances.
Husband: (shakes his head.) It seems too far away.
TV Weatherman #1: The severe thunderstorm and tornado warnings have been extended by the National Weather Service. As you can see by the map...
Closeup of radar map. Arrows point from the red and pink storm and the tornado icon to Cedar Park.
Wife: It's coming right at us.
Husband: But it's still a ways away.
They look at each other. Husband mutes the TV. Wife unpauses The Daily Show, but her eyes remain on the television screen.
They laugh nervously at the dialogs. Close-up on the radar screen as weatherman #1 draws an X over Lago Vista. Wife's eyes open wide.
Thunder rumbles a bit louder in the distance.
Close up on the computer screen of a bit with Jon Stewart and Justice Scalia. The couple laugh nervously. The camera shifts to the television. The pink and red storm is obliterating the words Cedar Park.
Wife rises from her chair, eyes fearful, looks at her husband who is also getting up. Sound of multiple hailstones hitting all the windows of the house at once.
Wife: Are all the blinds closed?
Husband nods.
Wife: My plants... but I don't want you going outside in this. I'm going to close the doors to all the rooms.
Husband: Are you okay?
Wife: We need to get downstairs.
Husband: I hope the dogs aren't out in the yard.
Wife begins closing doors. Husband looks out window at neighbor's yard where a woman is running frantically in the wind.
Husband: Oh no.
Hail beating on windows continues. Thunder is louder.
Wife: What is that sound? Just thunder, right?
Husband: Let's get downstairs.
Wife grabs remote to turn off TV.
Husband: Let's leave it on.
Wife drops the remote. Both hurry downstairs.
Husband: I guess it doesn't matter what room we are in. The hail is pounding on every window.
Wife: Because of the wind. But we need to be near the closet under the stairs in case there is a tornado.
She turns on the radio downstairs. Husband turns on the porch light and peaks out the blinds.
Husband: My first hail.
Wife: Really? You never saw hail in Raleigh? (peeks out the blinds too) This hail isn't that big. They were saying 1-2 inches, but the hail was this big in Raleigh.
Husband: Really? (He opens the front door to grab a hailstone. A few bounce into the house.)
Wife: (grabs the hail bits off the floor) Yes. Remember, I was at that drugstore in Cameron Village, and the hail was beating so hard in front of the store that the automatic doors wouldn't shut, and all the hail was bouncing in.
Husband opens door to toss out hail pieces. More hail bounces into house. Wife bends down and grabs them and tosses those out too.
Husband: I hope my car will be okay. (closes door)
Wife: It'll be fine as long as the hail stays this size. That car has been parked out in this kind of hail before.
Husband and wife move into the kitchen. There is a large spider on the floor (larger than the hail pieces).
Husband: That's too big to stay in here.
Wife: It doesn't want to be outside in this storm either. (looks down at her bare feet) Get a shoe.
Husband: No, I don't want to kill it, just put it outside.
Comedic bit where husband captures the spider under a plastic cup several times, slides a piece of paper underneath, then the spider escapes as he tries to lift the cup and paper, and the husband jumps back. Finally husband gets the spider, cup, and paper outside on the patio, only for the spider to run back into the house faster than the husband. Husband decides the spider can stay inside, under the cup, until the storm passes. Wife takes over. Slides the cup, paper, and spider right up to the door. Husband sets everything outside. Wife slides the cup away from the house, lifts the cup, spider scurries away, and wife runs back into the house. They both laugh.
Meanwhile thunder and lightning and hail continue outside. Then there is a low, loud noise like a train approaching.
Wife: What's that? Sounds like a train.
Husband nods. The noise grows louder. Both fearfully turn to run into the closet and hide under the stairs.
Then, a train whistle blows, and the couple stop in mid-flight. They embrace.
Wife: They should blow that whistle their entire way down the track or there are going to be a lot of people hiding in closets and bathrooms.
They continue to hold each other tightly.
If this were really a movie, this would be the perfect time for a real tornado to descend on the house and tear off the roof - or for a tree to come through a window - or for a transformer to explode - or maybe even for the real train to be derailed from the tracks and plow through the kitchen.
But luckily none of those things happened, and Wife #1 and Husband #1 were able to return to watching The Daily Show and playing Scrabulous on Facebook (product placement) and listening to the continuous weather reporting on KVUE (more advertising) as another pink and red storm approached, following an arrow drawn straight to Cedar Park.
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